A Single Tear Poem by Tony Bacon – link to the poem
A little know fact about me is that I am a fully qualified hypnotherapist. I guess you could call it a past life? I was trained to a very high level. I can assure you all how powerful it is in helping with a huge range of issues, and the best thing about it is all you have to do is sit down, relax, and the magic do it’s work!
I have used self hypnosis to help deal with the pain of the sadness and loss when we lost one of our dogs and I know that as it helps so much I thought I would write a blog about how hypnosis can help with dealing with the grief, and about how effective it really is.
Although most people will sympathize greatly with a child whose pet has died, and help them with their grief, there seems to be far less sympathy for an adult in the same situation. Crying in public, being down or sad when you would normally be louder, staring off in to the distance when your friends are speaking to you…. It can feel as if no one understands what you are going through, especially if you are surrounded by people who just don’t love animals like you.
I know that the death of a pet can affect you just as much as the death of a person, and it is important to understand that the stages of grief apply to pet loss just as much as they do to people.
You see, it doesn’t matter if your bereavement comes from the loss of a person, or the loss of a pet, you still have bereavement to deal with and so a natural process of grief is set in motion.
You have to deal with the pain and shock of loss. If you’ve never experienced it before, the depth of this pain can itself shock and surprise you – it’s as if you did not know you could feel quite so deeply. At first, it seems as if you can think of nothing else. Every waking moment, and even your dreams, seems to turn upon the loss.
This is the first stage of grief.
In the normal course of events, this first, intense, stage of grieving gradually gives way to a more generalized sense of sadness. You become more reflective about your relationship with the one you are grieving for. Life can still be a struggle, and you may feel low and lack motivation for anything. Your thoughts still constantly return to your loss. You may remain in this phase for a long time, but in due course it too passes.
Eventually, you find a way to accommodate your loss in your life. You still care deeply about the one who has gone, but you can continue with your own life, and feel able to find joy and pleasure in life again. When you remember the one who died, you focus more on the good times you had together. This is why Rainbow Bridge Online encourages its community to focus on the happy times you had with your pet… if you are in early stages this advice may just wash over you but eventually it makes sense.
And when I say eventually, it’s because you owners are all different. There is no ‘fixed’ time in which grieving should be ‘completed’. Every person is different just as every relationship with your pets is different. They’re unique. However, it can happen that grieving can so take over your life that you find it hard to function normally and do what you need to do. In such a situation, it is not a matter of ‘pulling yourself together’ or ‘getting over it’. Anyone who has depression in their life, or lives with someone with depression, know that these so called magic words do nothing to help, and can in fact make it so much harder to get through.
But what can help you through is learning how to grieve consciously. So, what is conscious grieving?
Although it feels as if grief is something which just hits you from outside, it helps to understand that it is the loss which hits you. Grieving is what you do after the loss, in order to assimilate it and prepare yourself to go on with life. It’s a coping process, and because it is about what you do, you have some control over how you do it. When you consciously grieve for your pet, you take charge of your grief, rather than letting it have charge of you.
So how do you use hypnosis to help you come through the death of a pet?
It’s hard to think clearly about such things when you are in a highly emotional state. So it’s good to know that there are ways to help yourself move comfortably into a process of grieving well, and suitably honoring the memory of your beloved pet. Death of a Pet is an audio hypnosis session which uses deep relaxation techniques and powerful therapeutic suggestion to help ease the process of grieving for a loved animal.
It is made by Hypnosis Downloads. I am a big follower of self hypnosis MP3 downloads. They’re so much cheaper than going to see a hypnotherapist in person, just as effective, and you can use them whenever it suits you, over and over again.
Just by taking the time to listen quietly to Death of a Pet, you will find yourself transported to a realm of peace and calm which will soothe your heart in its pain. The principles of mindful grieving will be imprinted in your unconscious mind, so that it will feel natural and right for you to grieve appropriately and help yourself come through to a place where you can remember your pet with joy and gladness after sadness.
Download Death of a Pet and resolve to truly honor the love you feel. Hypnosis is an incredible tool, very relaxing and may just be what you need to deal with these painful feelings you have.
Please understand this, to deal with your feelings isn’t to turn your back on your beloved pet, rather it is allowing you to remember them with a smile on your face, just as I want you to do as reflected in my poem A Single Tear.
Have you tried self-hypnosis for pet loss? Let me know in the comments below.